Hello friends… as I get ready to go out and do some limited touring dates throughout the rest of the year I wanted to share something with you.
I just read this in a Facebook comment, “Funny how when you pick up your guitar and hit the stage you seem so at home!” and it made me want to tell you this quick story.
A week after my son Clark's funeral I was home with my wife Tracy and I was debating whether to go out to “The Warburton”. There is a great St. Jude's golf tournament/concert event at the beginning of each year called “The Warburton”. Patrick Warburton hosts it and the great band Sixwire are the houseband for an incredible evening of entertainment.
The first year I did it the artists were Wayne Nelson of Little River Band, John Elefante of Kansas, Richard Page of Mr. Mister, Richard Marx, Mickey Thomas of Starship, Tom Johnston of the Doobie Brothers, Stephen Stills and many more… it was pretty phenomenal.
This year my great friend Andy Childs who leads Sixwire called me about 4 days out from the show and was just checking in. Checking in as a friend first to see how we were doing and then said they were prepared for me to not show up for the event but if I was coming they would be there with open arms.
I told him I was planning to not come but I talked it over with my wife and she said to go. She was planning a night with several of her girlfriends so she wouldn't be alone so I told her I'd go as long as if she felt weird at all to call me and I'd come right home… no matter what. In the middle of a song at the jam? I'm coming home…
So I left with my son Connor to go out for the 3 day event. We had the best father son talk and what a great time. He's 17 and about to turn 18 so to have a trip like that under such sad and profound circumstances was very good for us.
We got to the hotel and immediately went out to play golf with Jay and Joe Don of Rascal Flatts who were out for this years' “Warburton”. That was the first feeling of re-entering the atmosphere. The first friends I'd come into contact out into the real world after our loss. There was something very comfortable about it. We found ways to laugh about life and as Jay pointed out… “We have to laugh… it's the only way to get through the pain sometimes.”
Then later on that day I went to my soundchecks. They had me going on right after Alex Lifeson, but, I was going to play and sing “Spirit of Radio” and “Limelight” with Alex so I got there 30 min before mine. Alex and I hit it off at the Medlock/Krieger charity golf event in October of 2018.
So I walk up to the stage and Alex sees me and just breaks into the most beautiful smile… and something felt very normal, comfortable. We hugged, he asked how I was doing and I told him I was hanging in there. It was weird though… something felt right about being there.
I knew that in Alex's family they had been through some pretty big losses and of the kind we'd experienced. When it's out of order. When children go before us.
I knew that Neil Peart had lost a daughter and then the mother of that daughter shortly after that. As they say, there's always someone who has had it worse.
As we're getting ready to play I see the same thing as I did the first time we played… people are starting to file in. Service staff, musicians, all kinds of people. They know that Alex Lifeson is there and he's about to play Rush songs. They had no idea who I was and could care less.
We start “Limelight” and I watch people's faces just starting to trip. Hearing that opening guitar lick just brings back people's lives… their memories… I know it does for me. Hearing these opening licks takes me back to San Diego starting to really get into playing music… these are the soundtracks of our lives.
Then, when we start getting into the song I loved seeing the looks on people's faces when I started to sing. It was priceless. They were so happy to hear this music and suddenly I was a part of it. Yes, some of my friends who know me, or some of the staff that was around who knew I'd be there, when I got to be Geddy for a couple of tunes, it's just a bit of a pattern interrupt. They don't know what to make of it… but there it is… it's what we do… and people were happy. And so was I.
We then went into Spirit of Radio and once we were done Jay DeMarcus comes up on stage and walks up to me and asks, “How you doing buddy?” and I told him.
I said, “You know what's really weird? I come up on stage, play with people of this caliber, we play these songs that speak for our generations and we all get lit up and man, I feel no pain.”
For the first time since we lost our son I felt that state of zero pain. No drugs, no substance, no crutches… it was music, as it always has been.
I realized as cliche as it always sounds, this is where I'm supposed to be.
So I can't tell you how excited I am to be able to come out and perform for you.
Music is the medicine.
BRILLIANT!
Beautiful story
Music and laughter is the best medicine .. It is so healing !!
Its gotten me through rough times..
Im glad you had the chance reality and feel the music in you ..
Love you from Java island, Indonesia, south east Asia
Thanks for sharing Jason! I’m glad you’re back to music.
Nice videos!
Terri Dente
You said it all, Jason: music is the medicine and you are definitely where you are supposed to be! Much love and blessings to you, always!
Happy that you are finding your way back to music, and to all of us. Sending much love to you, Tracy and your family. See you out there!
Peace Brother.
Life is Good.
Love you, brother! Happy Fathers Day!
Thank you Jason for your BEAUTIFUL story and music. God works in mysterious ways and He brought you and Connor there for some healing. I know you really never stop grieving but it gets a little easier with time. Maybe Clark was right there with you both. God Bless you and your BEAUTIFUL family. Much LOVE
Its a very nice reflexion,and the music heal the soul,,and the same time you share emotional things with people,,,and give us love and hope and peace,you are a life fighter,,,
Jason, I am so happy that you are healing doing what you love the best…. music! Music is the universal language that everyone can understand. Isn’t it amazing how it all comes back to you. Thanks so much for sharing your story. We sure hope that you and your family continue to heal. God Bless you all! Lots of Love, Steve & Missy
Just saw the now version of Chicago, you are missed. I also just got tickets for the White album 50 anniversary show in October and you are on the bill. Looking forward to seeing you again. Stay well.
Love you. God bless you and your family. Keep rocking ✨ I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I’m so glad you have good things ahead.. the tour and new music. One day at a time.
I lost a son in 2002 and your music in Chicago brought me back to being me. See you October 1st in St.Charles.
i just met you in beverly, massachusetts october 5th after your show by your bus. told you how flawless your voice was. i didn’t know you lost a son, so sorry to hear. hugs to you and your family!, joseph and heather daniels
Jason,
I need to apologize for not keeping up on your blog entries. I’ve been reading all evening, and shared “Missing Christian” with Leslie. We were both feeling sad, and then I read this one, and the note about your son… Leslie and I both are sad and thinking about you and your family. Your comments about talking with God and making the decision to live on Earth, even though it would at times be hard, matches exactly the memory my father related to me from before he was born. He would tell you that you didn’t imagine it.
We will continue to pray for healing in your family. Life goes on. I know your memory is remarkable, but with all the people you’ve taken photos with… I need to send you a copy of the photo. You posed with my daughter, Holly, back in the summer of ‘97 in Council Bluffs, Iowa. She was 4. Time flies. She’s about to turn 26, is married, and expecting a son in March.
You talk about being where your supposed to be… and a big part of that is making music for both of us… but we’re also here to experience our children and grandchildren. I believe this is a big part of why I was allowed to survive my stroke 8 years ago… so I could be here for my grandson… I can’t wait to meet him.
I want to thank you for all the inspiration you give us all in your music, blogs, ministry, and in how you model living life. I also can’t wait to hear your new album. I’m sure the music will speak volumes.
Love, prayers, and support,
Todd
Heartfelt story. Music has always been, and forever will be, the medicine. Thanks so much for sharing this. God bless your entire family!